Would You?
Having thin arms, being overly tall with a head bigger than a beachball doesn’t naturally put you at the top of the list for modelling jobs. However, never being one to shirk the limelight, I jumped at the chance to work with Sarah and Lauren for a new campaign. Sure it might have meant a slightly longer day and risking my neck at home (tea was late that night) but I didn’t want to turn it down, I was happy to have been asked.
I’ve always wondered how actors deal with the parts of the movie when they have to pretend to be in the middle of an explosion or flying above some city or in a car crash. Instead they stand on a green screen, now I have some idea. For those of you wishing for a chance at fame and glamour….it’s totally not what you’d expect. Why I hear you all ask? Well, for several reasons.
Ill Fitting Outfits
Being a tall man I’ve always had trouble finding clothes to fit. The onesie craze which swept the nation wasn’t ever possible for me. A combination of long legs and long body mean that even with the stretchy material I don’t fit in them. Considering this, imagine my delight when I discovered that my outfit for the shoot was a luminous yellow boilersuit. The blue collar onesie. Upon climbing into the outfit and zipping it up I discovered that the manufacturer hadn’t envisaged such a tall man wearing it. Let’s just say I hadn’t ever envisaged wearing a thong….It was uncomfortable at best, even after some of the strain had been relieved by making some amends in somewhat choice areas.
Restrictive Headwear
Both myself and my twin brother Dan have grown into our heads. I’m pretty sure that our heads have been the same size since we were born and only upon reaching adulthood did our bodies catch up. Dan went through high school with the nickname ‘BigHead’, I dodged that one but literally never found a cap that wanted to fit. Fast forward to the shoot and my hard hat issues. Amazingly, the hat had enough extra room to accommodate my cranium. But, coupled with extra warm blue collar onesie and the heat given off by the lights, I was in serious melting territory. Fortunately, my head doesn’t appear in too many of the shots. Also photoshop is a wonderful tool (as I’d discover later).
My Thin Arms
I’ve never been one of those strong types. In junior school I had no chance of climbing the rope in PE, my throwing abilities are minimal and I can never carry more than two shopping bags in each hand. My arms are destined to be the same width as a fourteen year old schoolgirl. Needless to say, this shortcoming came up following the first round of client feedback. Cue mass photoshopping of my arm which has ended up looking like that bloke from the Lady in the Water.
Alas, when you thrust yourself into such a focussed spotlight you should expect some scrutiny. If ever you’re wondering who the model is when only an leg, arm or half torso (covered, thank god)(excluding the face) is used, be secure in the knowledge that it’s me. I promise. Just with a modified arm.
Big thanks must go out to our photographer on the day who made me feel as though I was a natural. His shouts of ‘great movement’ and ‘more/less profile’ were a constant help. Although if I think on, it was generally ‘less profile, less profile’ which for a bloke with thin arms, being overly tall with a head bigger than a beachball is fairly understandable.
